I dreamt I saw you last night
hummingbird beauty
I think it also works in reverse:
hummingbird beauty
I dreamt I saw you last night
tiny jewel with wings
Which way works better to your senses? (Personally, I prefer the first one, waiting until the end to reveal the subject of the poem.)
Day 11
6 comments:
What great, succinct imagery. I also prefer the first, and for the same reason.
Wonderful! Love this...and am also with you in preferring the first.
Pretty!
Pamela
your haiku is verfy good.....thanks
They are such jewels. I also like the 1st. The exercise of reversing the lines is something I do with my students. It's a great way to reveal new aspects of a piece.
Troy, Robin, Pamela, Wayne and James - Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment and for letting me know which version you prefer.
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