Monday, April 5, 2010

It's nothing personal, but...

All the petty talk - words
about the weekend, the game, a trip to your grandma's.

Honestly, I don't care.

Yes, my weekend was nice, but
I don't want to tell you about it.
Not today, anyway.
Try me tomorrow - I might feel up to it then.

Want to gossip about who's not doing what at work?
Count me out.
I'm listening, but not participating
in your backstabbing nonsense.

Small talk is not on the table
for me today.
You've only said five words and already I'm tired
of your mouth -
aggravated by your need to engage me.
Don't you know it deflates me?

Can you hear my teeth gritting and
the "Shut up!" chant in my head?

I am my own best company.
I don't need your chatter to make my day work.
Just leave me alone, let me do my work,
where I can daydream but still be productive.

Please, kindly go away.
I'm having an Introvert's Monday.

Today's NaPoWriMo prompt asked us to get personal. What they were trying to tease out was a way for us to make our own poetry personal (i.e. give a voice, a shape, an identity to our poetry and what it means to us), but I ended up coming up with this instead.  It's one thing to say that I'm an introvert, but it's another thing to actually put the inner dialog that comes with that territory on the page for all the world to see.  Thus, this is a personal post for me.  Also, the aloofness that surely comes off on days like the one described above might be taken personally for some...

Day 5


Robin said...

Well put! I think we all feel that way once in a while, but maybe we actually should feel that way more often...

Heather said...

Hi Robin - It's not fun feeling that way, especially when it drags on for days (which sometimes happens with me)! My hope was that giving voice to those feelings might help to lessen their impact in my psyche, but I think they'll always be as strong, no matter what. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

James said...

Very well done. I know that shut up chant in my head too and I wish I didn't know it so well. You capture the introvert's dilemma quite well.

ADoughty said...

I can totally relate to this! I get into that mode at work from time to time, and I too am an introvert. Great work :-)
-Alejandra (

Heather said...

James and Alejandra - Thank you to you both. It's good to get feedback from fellow introverts!